I’m really, really bad at saying “no.” I like to say “yes” to people, to ideas, to travel, to trying new things. I like to say yes in my business. I like to say yes at home. I like to say yes to my friends. Saying no feels like my insides flipping upside down and inside out. Trying to say no can leave me dancing around my words, speaking in maybe’s and uh huh’s, but not really saying what I need to say. Have you been there? Are you there? Do you hate uttering the word no?
If you’re squirming in your seat, I’m right there with you. I think one of the reasons we have a hard time saying no is that we haven’t gotten really, really clear on what matters to us, what lights our fire, what brings us love and inspiration. Essentially, our "yeses."
The truth is, before I had our little man I had more time for yes. I had more time in the day to teach yoga, to write, to test drive new ideas, to see what stuck. I had more time to watch some good ole Netflix with my husband, to go out to dinner with him. I had more time to keep up with my own yoga practice, to sip a hot cup of coffee with a book in the morning, to either paint my toenails or at the very least remove the sad, chipped nail polish (hello motherhood). And, I’m not complaining about that. No way - have you seen Bodhi Bear’s smiles? Um. The best. I’m biased.
With the new momming (nursing, pumping, rocking, reading, getting to child care and the doctor), being a wife, friend, and running a business, my days fill and FAST. I noticed lately that I was saying “yes” to a lot of things...and why? Because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, because of a little fear, because I feel like I have to because this is the way it's always been. But, what I realized is this:
I was saying NO to myself. In saying yes to all these other things that have come in my life (teaching opportunities, writing, speaking, events), I’m not making space for the things that I need, time with my family, working on projects I LOVE, or time for my own sanity. And, who wants a crazy yoga teacher?
Here’s what I’m saying yes to, where I’m laying out clear boundaries at home and at work:
- I’m zeroing in on the offerings we have at the studio. I’m focusing on building our Yoga Dearcommunity (ahem stay tuned for our summer announcements) and ensuring a quality yoga experience here. I’m focusing on developing the most wonderful, knowledgeable teachers through our Teacher Training program. I’m focusing on something I love dearly, which is the Prenatal & Postnatal Yoga program.
- I’m saying yes to time with my family. Fridays & Sundays are no-go teaching days unless Teacher Training is in session. And, when it is, then I make sure to take a day or two during the week. Two weeknights per week are off limits for making plans with anyone other than Eugene & Bodhi man, so we can actually all be in one place at the same time, eating dinner, and zooming airplanes around on the floor.
- I’m saying yes to my practice again. It has been a challenge to get it in with all the commitments on my plate. So, I’m letting go of some extra opportunities, because yoga is essential to my well-being. Instead of 30 minutes here or 20 minutes there (which I still do!), I’m making a promise to myself to get on my mat for at least 45-60 minutes, three times per week.
If you find yourself always saying yes to everyone else all the time, why not take some time to focus on what you actually want to say “yes” to? Why not get really clear on why you need to say no? Saying no isn’t a bad thing. And, a polite, “Not at this time” or “Let’s look at the calendar for a few months in advance” or “Let me refer you here” goes a long, long way. I’d love to hear one thing you’d like to say yes to. Please write or DM me over on my Instagram page.
P.S. Another thing I am saying yes to? New teachers! New class times! Please welcome Hannah, Sierra M, and Catie to the regular yoga class schedule. We have 4:30 p.m. Slow Flow and All Levels Vinyasa classes coming, as well as a Friday morning Community Yoga class, meaning you pay what you can. Please check the schedule here for all the details!