Yesterday morning, I woke up at 4:00 a.m. to a squirmy baby in the bassinet next to our bed. 4:00/5:00 a.m. wake-up calls from this hungry little human have been the norm these past few weeks. After babe’s fed and content, I’ll put him down to sleep, and sometimes I’ll head back to bed, too. But on this day, I couldn’t. It just felt too peaceful a moment to miss.
You might think I’m crazy, but those early, early morning hours when it’s still dark out are a holy to me.So at 5:15 a.m., before the sun had even made a slight appearance, I rolled out a green yoga mat and sat on a folded up blanket. I put on some soothing music. I had my journal right next to me. It was like old times! Ahem...like a month ago before Bodhi’s arrival. I sat and meditated in peace, no interruptions. I listened. I wrote down [disjointed] thoughts. And, then, I did a slow 40 minute asana practice before the world woke up, before my dogs started whining for breakfast, and before baby boy needed me again.
These are my moments of healing and rejuvenation, places where I can come back to my Self, known as Atman in Sanskrit.
For me, even though I’m sheltered in the house more often than I’ve ever been, life feels NOISY. While I’m nursing, I’m often reading everything - lots of news, Instagram feeds, Facebook posts, articles on new motherhood, and, of course, Harry Potter books (which I read out loud to Bodhi often...I hope he loves The Goblet of Fire as much as I do). I’ve noticed that in reading and consuming so much, my mind grows confused and tired - there's so much conversation in there.
I’ve found the news can be bleak and oh so frustrating, scrolling through Insta or Facebook leaves me feeling alone and semi-inadequate (did you know a nursery isn’t complete without a gallery wall? wink wink), the articles on motherhood can be contradictory. Gah! What’s a gal/new mom to do?
Shut it down. Turn it off. Get back to the mat. Get back to your Self, to Atman. In Sanskrit, Atman can actually be translated as two things - the Self or Breath. I love that. Why? Because yoga is all about the breath, and the breath connects us back to our bodies. It grounds us in meditation, it allows us to move deeply and freely in asana. And, this union of mind, body, and breath allows us to go inward and connect back with what is most dear - the eternal Self, the true Self - and here we shut out the noise. Pretty incredible, right? Yoga blows my mind #everydamnday.
I think we all need to find our places of healing and rejuvenation. And when we do, we need to practice them religiously. I mean it. Maybe for you it’s a quiet cup of hot tea in the early AM, or writing for 10 minutes everyday, or maybe it’s a yoga practice as the sun’s rising. You’ve heard the saying, you can’t pour from an empty cup, right? Take time to get away from the noise around you. What are your places of healing? How do you connect back with your Self? I’d love to hear from you. For now, the little one is calling and there’s a few more chapters in Harry Potter to read...